Still grieving

I'm so sorry to hear that. What's happening in your world? Thank you so much for the support. I hope I can return the favor.

Thank you so much for your kindness. It took me a while to come back to visit the group. I found myself sucked under this past week. I'm feeling much better now. You know, the ups and downs. I have to admit, I feel very guilty for complaining about how I feel or how hard it is when my son is verbal and yours isn't. What right do I have to be upset then? I do realize that there is always someone out there, unfortunatley, who has it worse. So with that in mind, I should be able to put my issues into perspective and not be so down.

How long have you known about your son's diagnosis? How has the journey been for you? I would love to hear about your experiences.

CharlotteR,

Thank you for the link to the advice for parents. It's wonderful that you are so aware and supportive of your niece. My sisters aren't very supportive unfortunately. My son has 3 diagnosis reports all stating he's autistic. Granted his is functioning high and we are so thankful. He is becoming more verbal too. He really internalizes things and so is more quiet, so then seems as if nothing is wrong. On the outside, he looks like a typical developing child. I think that in itself makes it hard for people to see what's really happening, and they think he's so quiet what's the big deal. Of course, at home where he's comfortable, that's when we see the tantrums, melt-downs, etc. And they can't seem to wrap their heads around the pain I still feel of losing the child I once knew. My own sister actually told me that ADHD, autism and all that was just a catch all for bad parenting. My older son struggled with ADHD, he has since adjusted so well to his feelings and body that you would never know he had issues. But those words my sister said still linger and of course I can't turn to them for help now. My twin sister actually told me not to dwell on whatever I think is happening with Chase. She told me that the doctors and therapists are just getiting me scared. Wow, sorry, I went on and on. All I really wanted to say was thank you. You are wonderful to support your family. God bless.

CharoletteR,

Thank you for the link to the advice for parents. It's wonderful that you are so aware and supportive of your niece. My sisters aren't very supportive unfortunately. My son has 3 diagnosis reports all stating he's autistic. Granted his is functioning high and we are so thankful. He is becoming more verbal too. He really internalizes things and so is more quiet, so then seems as if nothing is wrong. On the outside, he looks like a typical developing child. I think that in itself makes it hard for people to see what's really happening, and they think he's so quiet what's the big deal. Of course, at home where he's comfortable, that's when we see the tantrums, melt-downs, etc. And they can't seem to wrap their heads around the pain I still feel of losing the child I once knew. My own sister actually told me that ADHD, autism and all that was just a catch all for bad parenting. My older son struggled with ADHD, he has since adjusted so well to his feelings and body that you would never know he had issues. But those words my sister said still linger and of course I can't turn to them for help now. My twin sister actually told me not to dwell on whatever I think is happening with Chase. She told me that the doctors and therapists are just getiting me scared. Wow, sorry, I went on and on. All I really wanted to say was thank you. You are wonderful to support your family. God bless.

helpfulhelper,

Thank you for the warm welcome. You are right, I've been down. =) It took me a while to come back to the group. I tend to find myself sucked in some weeks and I shut down. I'm feeling better this week. I was able to catch up on some chores and work that needed to be done. When I am caught up with my normal tasks, then the attention my son needs and the time his therapy takes doesn't feel so bad. I also care for my grandparents. My grandmother has dementia and my grandpa is struggling to care for her anymore. He recently became sick himself. Between that strain and my son's autism, and my family's non-support, I'm overwhelmed most of the time. I know there are so many other families dealing with the same if not more actually. It does sit in my mind constantly that I do not have it that bad and there is no reason for me to be so upset. However, I notice the pain doesn't lessen. I think I just need to be heard, need to grieve out right for what I have lost and know that it's ok to be upset. Everyone pushes for you to be positive, think positive and move forward. Which of course, we should all try to think positive as much as we can. But society doesn't allow us to really deal with the hurt and the pain and negative feelings that come with trial, loss, etc. Gosh, here I go again. It just comes spewing out sometimes. Thank you for welcoming me in. I appreciate you and everyone's support and advice. God bless!